Sunday, April 13, 2014

You Can Never Understand

I have been writing this blog, for over six months.  I have addressed some issues and the lacking nature of agencies, Rape Crisis Agencies, and our Government's lacking discipline to properly address the lack of training.  Lack of training, lack of asset allocations, lack of interests, while putting out the pretense that they  are trying to address Male MST/PTSD Veteran survivors.


I have taken most of my time addressing issues that I deal with on a daily basis, and things I am doing to find assistance for my Issues, concerning PTSD and the MST I suffered, during my Military Service.    I know that I have spent most of these six months addressing this aspect of my life, for a reason.


Now, you may not be an actual victim of Military Sexual Trauma, or suffering PTSD.  You see, it's not whether or not you actually have suffered the direct attack, or the direct impact of the trauma that someone else has suffered to be effected.  A loved one, a neighbor, a friend, a family member, who has suffered through these aspects of the trauma, needs to have others around them to ask questions, to identify cues and hints, to not just brush mild displays of depression, anxiety, anger, rage, or other mental issues, to lend a hand.


Reading through my blogs, of both present and past, can give you some sort of indications that someone is in need of help.  But just because they, themselves may claim they are fine, it can seriously rub off onto an innocent by-stander, who is close to the person, whom is suffering.  Reaching out for assistance, even for yourself, to empower yourself to cope with the stresses, can mean the differences between the longevity of any relationship.


Personally, I have suffered the losses of two marriages and the loss of family members, friends and missed opportunities, due to my own mental health issues and due to the fact that the Military and Veteran's Administration had and has turned their backs on me.  I hid all of the issues by pushing the ones closest to me away. withholding emotions and trust and even commitment, all in the name of my injuries and the sufferance's of my Sexual Assault, and the beatings I endured.


Reaching out, is not something to be ashamed of.  Realizing that you need help finding yourself, or helping someone find themselves, through therapy of some sort, may not be welcomed at first.  However, after the initial shock of admitting there is a problem and seeking out help for yourself or a loved one, the rewards are tremendous.


I used to push help away in several ways, but mostly by becoming very defensive towards anyone who asserted my need for help.  I had the attitude that if no one had suffered what I had, they would not ever be able to understand.  If someone could not understand, how can they help me?  I personally am in the process of realizing that the person who is helping you, does not have to understand, to be of assistance to you, or your loved one.  It is the other person who can help you, or your loved one whom is suffering, understand the issue enough to file away the matter.  By properly addressing the issues at hand, the sufferer is capable to move past the individual sticking points of the trauma (s), and the attack itself.


As features come available to me, through my own journey  into understanding my pain and the various facets of my traumas, I will share the progress and the set backs.  I will be trying to integrate the short comings and the progress professionals are taking, to address Our issues.  I will try to share with you, both good and bad points, as I see them, and let you decide your own points of interest.


But the main thing of all this, is that if you have a friend, a neighbor, a family member or other loved one is suffering in silence; help them help themselves without becoming consumed into the trauma yourself.( IF possible.)   Looking back on my past, I see where my wife (wives), have suffered as I did and am.  I was so caught up in hiding my pain, that I failed to recognize their pain and therefore brought relationships to their ends.


So, from this point I am working towards doing more research on my posts, towards education of both my readership and myself, on the progress of our military, our Government, and the Veterans Administration, in preparing their staff towards addressing and properly treating the needs of our veterans.  From time to time, I will also be looking at civilian efforts in addressing male sexual assault, as well.


If you wish to contact me, or reach out to me, please leave a comment asking for me to contact you.  IF you are a someone who is looking for help, you can reach out to me, and I will try and assist you in finding help, as best as I can.  IF you have questions, please reach out to me and I will try  to answer your concerns.  However, if you are questioning my qualification, or my being capable of understanding, please take time to read previous posts of mine, and then make a decision.  But in either case, please reach out to someone.  DON"T SUFFER IN SILENCE.